You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We have started to decorate penises.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
