people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
