Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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