I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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