I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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