i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
