ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
