Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
