So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
