Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
