she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
