why didn't you poke me back
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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