There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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