i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
