The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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