Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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