I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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