I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
