Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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