was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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