Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
