I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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