i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I looked at my own cervix.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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