My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
