Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
