i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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