my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
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Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
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The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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