So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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