What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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