dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So many bounce houses so little time
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
True strength comes from lack of pants
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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