all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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