direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
