You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
