I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
