that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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