dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
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Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
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I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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