just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
