Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Randomize
