Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
