i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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