I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
