I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
