If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
