There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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