so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
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don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
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We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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