There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
