I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
