I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize