i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I am midnight drunk by noon
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize