I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
