I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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