im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
