Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand