sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me