I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.