i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
