she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
PANTIES FOUND
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