i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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