Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i drank out of a bidet.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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