Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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