I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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