weddingsv make me drug and hornr
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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