Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
