I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
