Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
