Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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