I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
