I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.