and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
