i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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