meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
