I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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