the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
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It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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