yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
