sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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