Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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